AIO? My boyfriend doesn’t seem to enjoy playing video games with me.

My boyfriend and I are both gamers who play the same competitive online first-person shooter team-based video game (VALORANT). Usually, he will play with his friends/cousins while I typically will duo/trio with my younger brother(s). In the past, my boyfriend and I never played together often because 1) we’re usually different ranks and 2) I was super inconsistent and didn’t want to be the reason we lost a game (i.e. I didn’t want to throw his rank).

With the new year to now, my skill level has become a lot more consistent, and I feel confident about being able to play well/at my best every game. Last night, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to play a competitive match with my brother and I and he surprisingly agreed. However, he decided to use an alternative account so it wouldn’t affect his main rank if we lost. This was fine with me because I didn’t feel too pressured if we lost.

During the game, my boyfriend isn’t getting many kills which frustrates him. He is competitive, and hates “dying in dumb ways” or being baited by teammates. I understand this, but I’m not the type of person to take it very personally, as long as we win. Throughout the game, he is constantly sighing, yawning loudly and is completely silent while my brother and I are communicating and overall having a good time between the two of us. I tried not to let my boyfriend’s attitude bother me in the moment because my brother was in the call with us, but I was beginning to feel bummed because my boyfriend was very obviously not in a great mood. We won the game 13-8, and my boyfriend is at the bottom of the leaderboard.

After the game, I went to ask my boyfriend why he was so upset when we won the game (we live together). I stated that he was ruining the mood/fun when he’s acting this way while playing with us, and if he’s not having a good time, then he doesn’t have to play with us. I reminded him that he is 1) not playing on his own account so the results don’t affect him, 2) the rank is lower so he can’t expect our team to play on the same level as his current rank and 3) we won the game! He responded that he was just frustrated with the game and we got off.

Afterwards, he switches accounts and plays with his friends like normal. Their team is losing 0-11 yet he is laughing and having an overall good time with his friend. I don’t hate that he’s having a good time, but it did make me sad that he acts so annoyed when he plays with me vs others. I just don’t understand the difference in behavior, and my feelings were hurt because it felt like my boyfriend doesn’t enjoy playing games with me. I was also frustrated because it seemed he was more so mad that he was playing poorly in a lower rank and was just taking it out on me (I wanted to say don’t get mad at me that you’re playing like buns!) Moving forward, I likely won’t offer to play together again.

Am I Overreacting? A part of me feels like I’m taking his behavior too personally/emotionally, when at the end of the day, it is just a game. He did say he was just frustrated due to his poor performance. Or is this a valid reason to feel hurt? I feel like it's also reasonable to be upset at someone being a party-pooper when we're just trying to have fun together.