Had the "transference talk", officially

I still can't believe this actually happened. I'm still in some kind of shock.

We were solidifying the repair of a mini-rupture from last week and were talking about the mechanism of the rupture-repair process, and my therapist was just talking about how sometimes a client can form maternal attachment to the therapist, and perceived ruptures sometimes can mimic old wounds with their mother.

So the first time she said something about the maternal attachment I was like, "did she really just say that?" I was laughing a bit and thinking in silence for a while. She asked me whether I would like to share. I decided to move on, and we did.

Later on, she mentioned something similar again! ("mom figure", "maternal attachment", whatever, I don't remember now), and that was when I finally decided to (although reluctantly) lean into this "transference talk". I was a bit scared. We didn't even use the word transference for the entire session tbh.

I joined in the conversation and said that I know you're not my mom in a literal sense, but emotionally sometimes it feels that way, and I don't really try to resist those feelings.

She was so calm, grounded and accepting!!!

She said that she knows I'm not looking at her as my substitute mom in real life, that she's my therapist, and that I don't need to resist those feelings. She said she's comfortable/fine with me leaning into it as a corrective emotional experience. She said it’s healing. 😭🥹

She said that a lot of people in this world look at other people as maternal or paternal figures, however long or short they are in their lives. I think she used the example of people seeing their mentors as parental figures but I don't remember exactly now.

I said something like I’ve seen a lot of stories online where people talked about maternal/paternal attachment with their therapists and got rejected (hello r talktherapy), and she smiled and replied with, “that sound damaging.”

I asked her if she has always been aware of my maternal attachment to her or if this is something she only thought about today, and she said that maternal attachment has always been my case conceptualization from the psychodynamic lens.

I think I have a “therapy mom” now (emotionally). I’m still largely in shock, but my inner child is very very happy.