Back acne rant

I have had back acne for about four years. I have never seen anyone with it as bad as mine. Everyone tells me the same story about how they got this cream from the doctor (always duac) and their acne went away. I’ve tried duac, lymecycline, birth control (made me depressed so was only on it for a week), and countless body washes etc etc. I hate that other people don’t have to deal with this at all and I do. I cry every night. The doctor said that I could go on accutane once and referred me somewhere, but by the time i had that appointment (literally about a year later), my skin was temporarily a little better so they said i didn’t need it. I’m thinking about going again and asking for accutane, but I am scared of the side effects and purging. I wish this would all just go away.