I often feel like there’s so much I just don’t know, I wish there was a manual for being human

TLDR: realizing others knew of a work dynamic has me reconsidering what else do neurotypicals know that I don’t.

Im high functioning, I kinda have to be because my family is abusive but I’ve actually made it work for me and move through the world with curiosity using tools I have from therapy to education. That said, I recognize as humans we don’t know everything, but so often I’m just stumped with the realization others know of social dynamics that took me a while to figure out. For example, at work I had a realization that an issue with a coworker that I complained about (they’re much older and fall asleep on the job, which is fine meaning I can have compassion for her age, except that it undermines us as a team), was an issue leadership was already aware of. Then I realized they can’t get rid of her cuz replacing her would be difficult (though not impossible). That said 1. Why undermine the entire project? 2. the answer might not even be to get rid of her, but to find an accommodating solution. This has me wondering why are neurotypical people so often adverse to making changes that would make a project or process more effective? Is it fear of becoming obsolete? And why is that a fear when people’s skills could just be used for something else?

This felt like when I realized people use people and noticed how I was easy to use because I didn’t have this awareness. I’m now aware and have accepted people can be evil and not everyone has the best intentions but I’m finding myself wondering: do most people not have the best intention at all? Are all neurotypicals solely emotional beings? Cuz I often find it’s more like a balance between emotion and effectiveness but they’re just emotional so often, to do the point of having no empathy for others…which is often the accusation thrown against us.

I’m confused. Annoyed. And also realizing so many people at work already knew of this person has me thinking of the entire job environment in a new light and society in a new light.

My fear is, what else am I unaware of that people know or do or say or believe in?