[ Removed by moderator ]

Disclaimer: This is a new account created specifically to seek advice on this personal matter as my main account is known to family. This is my first post.

I got married in 2024 and currently live with my MIL and SIL [F19]. Because my husband is long-distance, I spend almost all my time with them. I have deep respect for my MIL for being a single parent, but the living dynamic has become very painful.

The Main Issues:

• Unwelcoming Comments: She frequently reminds me that she wanted her son to wait another 3–4 years to marry. She says he only agreed because of his age. It is hard to build a home when you are constantly told you shouldn't be there yet.

• Gatekeeping My Husband’s Time: He only visits for a few days at a time. Every time we plan to go out or have a "date," she gets upset, creates urgent chores for him, or has an emotional breakdown. We almost never get time alone as a couple.

• Financial Control: It feels like our financial future is being sidelined to prioritize her and the SIL’s immediate wants, making it hard for us to plan for our own life together.

When I bring these points up to my husband, he tells me I am being unfair to her. He says she is "naive" and has "suffered a lot," so I should just let it go. I feel like my perspective is being completely ignored.

My Questions for the Community:

1. How can I get my husband to acknowledge these behaviors as a real problem without him feeling like I’m attacking his mother?

2. Has anyone else dealt with a MIL who constantly says they didn't want the marriage to happen? How did you respond?

3. How do I protect my mental health while living in a house where I feel like an unwanted guest?

TL;DR: I [F25] live with my MIL [F51] in India while my husband [M28] works overseas. My MIL repeatedly tells me she didn't want him to marry yet and interferes with our limited time together. My husband dismisses these concerns, and I am feeling emotionally drained.