philosophy.

everything i try to make has me wanting to violently throw up looking at it.

this is not the image in my mind and even after its alledgedly out it isnt. the idea is still clawing at the inside of my head with an intensity that makes me sick.

i feel fundamentally just so horribly lonely. nobody is ever going to see the ideas inside my head and they are just going to claw and beat their way around until i die and i will die with my ideas and my work forever unknown because of how i just cant fucking make it exist at all

its been said to make something exist then make it good but this shit that flows out of me isnt the thing im making the thing still has not been made its still stuck inside

i want it out. thats all.