Introducing gf to hotpast kink? Insecurities

Hi everyone, sorry if this will be a long post. So this is a bit complicated. Thinking about my girlfriend's sexual past I've always felt both jealous and aroused, which I think is common for this kind of "cuckish" kinks, maybe espacially at the beginning when your discovering them. With my girlfriend I always only revealed the jealous side, and only that. I told her I don't want to know about those things and that they make me feel bad, this came out because talking it came out she had hook-ups as in one night stands, and also friends with benefit relationhips. And despite I told her this made me feel a bit bad, and I actially did, now that some time has passed I must admit I get horny if I think about it, and when it happens I feel the need to know the details from her. I think it would drive me crazy if she told me about this stories and how she fucked this guys while she's jacking me off, and a part of me really wants this. But I'm not sure I'd be really into It if we actually do it. Another part of me is a bit scared of the possibile consequences on our relationship if we do this, but even of her possible reaction to me confessing this: consider she hates cucks, I know I am not proposing cuckold, but this is still kind of same type of kinks, so I don't know how She could react. Also this would probably be confusing for her as to her understandment I actually don't like to talk about that (tbf I some time ago told her I have no longer issues with past experience and accepted them). On the other hand, she is kind of dominant and even indulges my humiliation kink about lasting little in bed, so she is somewhat into submissive kinks. I would love some suggestions, personal experience ecc! Thanks so much!