am i bi? or at least does anyone relate to my experience?

first, yes I know u guys can't tell me whether or not I'm bi fr, but I just haven't talked to anyone about this in a long time and it randomly popped into my head again. more of a casual pondering post than a I'm having an identity crisis post.

I'm 18 and ftm, and when I was around 12 I started questioning my sexuality. I knew I was attracted to guys, but I couldn't really tell if I liked women. I felt like i could hypothetically like women, but I hadn't had any crushes on girls in the same way I had crushes on boys.

Around this time was when I think I experienced my first crush on a girl, who was a musician/youtuber. I REALLY liked her. I remember my heart was pounding and felt flushed and giddy. I had a couple of similar experiences where I would see a woman (who was usually masc presenting) and get a super intense crush. But these crushes on women happened way less frequently than my crushes on guys.

I identified as bi for awhile, but it always felt weird bc I was way more attracted to guys than women, and I was also questioning my gender, so it felt weird to identify as wlw, but it also felt strange to identify as a guy who liked women. I also didn't think about women the same way I thought of guys. Like I would imagine having a bf or husband, but I didn't really imagine having a gf or wife. And if I had a gf, I would feel bad bc I would feel like I'm missing out on having a bf. But if I had a bf, I think I would be content not ever having a gf

I dropped the bi label a couple years ago bc I didn't feel like I was attracted enough to women to identify as bi, so now I identify as a gay guy, more in a "I'm fruity and I like guys in gay way" and not necessarily in a only liking men way. If I wanted to be extra specific, I would describe myself as homoflexible. Even now I can't tell how attracted I am to women bc I'm definitely not strictly attracted to guys, but I can't really figure out how I feel towards women?

anyway, sorry for the rambly post. I suppose anything not strictly gay or straight is bi, but saying I'm bi does feel like false advertising lol. maybe part of the confusion around my sexuality is tied to my transness and my discomfort being seen as a lesbian and my apprehension to being seen as a straight guy. and maybe I will feel totally different in a couple years once I have experiences with ppl. if anyone has a similar experience or thoughts I would love to hear it!