There must be something in the water with how drivers here are

Picture this: It's about 11pm, it's raining, and you're driving eastbound along Division towards National Ave. You get there, and for some reason, the train signal is on, but all the lights are red, except for a left turn arrow. Now imagine you're getting into the right hand turn lane and you can't proceed farther because there's a car that is too large to go under the train track barrier, but there is no train coming. It's a simple issue with weather and lights. Now, traffic is starting to build a bit, and the car in front of you has someone get out, an off duty cop. Cop says ''hey let's all reverse and treat this intersection like a four way stop''. Makes sense right?

Well here we are, and nobody is moving. Everyone is thinking ''where's the train'' even though the lights are being buggy and there hasn't been a train over here at 11pm like, ever. One car goes through the light. Nobody else moves. You're unable to back up cuz there's someone who hasn't figured out the issue, and instead of backing up when they see you go into reverse, they freaking pull forward a bit. You signal to them to back up. They don't do this. Other cars now start to go, nearly hitting eachother because if there's two things that confuse the average driver here in Springfield, it's rain and red lights. Many of you don't know how to handle either of them it seems, and combined, it becomes a force too powerful for your Midwestern amateur hour driver brains to handle.

You get out of your car, and you point at the car behind you, and say ''back up''. they have room to do so. You get back in your car to avoid getting soaked, put your car in reverse, and the car behind you still doesn't back up. So you take initiative, and you reverse as close as you can to them without hitting them using your handy dandy backup camera, and they decide to lay into their horn at you. You ignore them, and turn the wheel the other way and start to position yourself to merge into the primary lane, now waiting on other cars to recognize this intersection is now an impromptu stop sign four way stop. You hear yelling, and the guy who was behind you in the white car is losing his absolute mind because you're signalling and he ''has no room to back up'' followed by a series of slurs and remarks that would make jesus regret his sacrifices for you. But you remain resolute, get out of the car, approach the driver, who has a cop behind him and PLENTY of space to back up, because unlike white car guy, the cop has a brain and knows what you're trying to do. You approach and he's still yelling, and when he says ''what am I supposed to do there's no room asshole'' and you smile and say ''see that big fucking circle in front of you? That's called a steering wheel. Turn that bitch to the left as far as it goes and press the gas a little and get the fuck out of this lane so this cop and I can move and stop impeding traffic'' followed by your own personal repetoire of unfavorable words. The cop behind him laughs. The drivers nearby hearing it laugh. A small child points at him and says ''idiot''. You get back in your car, and since he's determined he's gonna make this right hand turn, you get into the primary lane, pull forward, watch another couple drivers nearly collide because four way stops are the bane of your cities existence. You proceed and turn right and the white car flashes you a few times as he pulls forward , trapping the cop that was in front of you.

You continue unthwarted. You made it through the Great Confusing Street Light Incident of 2026. You end up coming back a few minutes later from the gas station down the street and white car is STILL there, with off duty cop out of his car yelling at the guy and the on duty cop having his lights on and writing a ticket, shaking his head. You can't help yourself. You pull up near them, the off duty cop sees you, waves, and says simply ''There must be something in the water with how drivers here are'' and you laugh as the angry man simply glares at you.

Now, I've heard a lot of smack talk about how Springfield drivers aren't that bad. They aren't dumb. They aren't ignorant. But between the red light runners, the people who don't seem to understand how a four way stop works, the people who see a singular bead of water fall onto their windshields and practically hydroplane into a ditch, the people who think slamming the gas pedal down while turning is how to get through snow, the texters, the guy on his phone staring up at the sky while doing 80 down a main street, I just have to ask:

What do YOU think the biggest issues with driving here are? What stupidity have you seen, or for bonus points, what stupidity have you yourself done that you later realized was dumb? What is your commute like, and what are your overall opinions of the skill level of the average driver here? I'm interested in having this dialogue.