I'm guilty for having my own guitar

For context, I have been wantina an instrument since I was a kid but I am just not the type to express what I want just because, and I was aware we cannot afford it. Guitar is my least favorite insttument but 10 months ago, i took interest because I was falling into depression and I knew it, sonce I am not an expressive person yet sensitive I do feel a lot of emotion and I want to use guitar as in instrument to express that. I did planned to use my scholarship allowance as my money or christmas gift (from org) but thing happened and scholarship program was shut down (this was around dec) and I already talked big about it to everyone saying i was excited and such. And since I did not have my money, my parents bought is for me. (We do exchange gift but i got none since they bought me guitar, and I was the one who suggest this, and I'll pay everything after I saved up) and now my sister said "I was maluho" becausw I got everything I want a week after I got my guitar, I did not use it everyday because I was shy and I do it in secret. I was offended, to the max.. I never ask for everything like literally, money? Only if school related. My scholarship allowance? Belongs to them. The only thing I remember getting was my camera worth 1000 pesos which was from my allowance too! I never never ask them everything, shoes? I got one. New clothes? Def not. I never ask for everything. I was guilty because I don't use it when they bought it for me because of that. And i was feeling more bad because I don't use it. Needless to say, my depression did worsen. Ficking annoying, the self-harm thoughts worsen so much.

Ps. My sis got his guitar when she was around my age "as a reward" because she was the top of her class... I WAS top of my class for years, I never ask for anything. Now I wanna play guitar and don't feel excitement anymore, just guilt.