AITAH for feeling depressed over not receiving any gifts for 15 yrs?

10 years in a relationship, 5 years married. Still haven’t experienced any valentines day despite fighting over it for the past years. No birthday gifts, valentines, Christmas, Mother’s Day, anything. We’ve talked about it several times. I’ve cried over it. He cried over it feeling sorry. Sometimes he’ll change and suddenly give me something for a birthday after a fight. Then months passed and nothing again. When I got pregnant and almost lost my life giving birth, I told him about the idea of a push present. Even sent videos. Still nothing.

It’s the same. He’ll say he’s sorry because he’s busy. He tried something but it didn’t work out blabla. We’re not poor. He can even buy random things shipped from other countries. I literally sent him a list of things I want in the past.

I wanted to buy a cake this valentine’s just to feel a bit of special but he got mad when I was asking his opinion on the cake flavor because he’s too busy. He says to choose anything but not something too sweet even when he knows I love sweets. I know he’s busy that’s why I was the one ordering the cake. It was just a simple question. I ended up not ordering.

Other than this, he’s perfect. He cares for me and our child. Works SO hard. Makes me coffee every morning. Goes above and beyond for our family. But nothing really out of the ordinary. No surprises. No special gestures. I just want to feel like a girl. Not a partner. Not a mom. I feel so petty. I feel like he doesn’t really love ‘me’ but just loves the life we built if that makes sense. AITAH?