Only you.

From the moment I met you, I was in complete awe of the beautiful soul sitting in front of me.

Also, quite scared. You reflected the parts of me I didn't want to see. The beautiful parts.

We got coffee. Or rather, I got a coffee and you got a hot chocolate (i'm guessing you still don't like coffee huh?)

Anyway, I've been contemplating everything. All the bad choices I have made... you know me, I often ruminate on these things and beat myself up about it.

How could I not? I've had alot of time on my own to see where I went wrong. I don't blame you if you feel you couldn't trust me again.

The truth? The complete truth? I doubted myself, more than you could imagine. I thought 'how could someone like him love someone like me'...

Then I found God again, or I should say He found me. He brang me peace, forgiveness, love, beyond any understanding. I felt His love. I still do.

He gave me some perspective on things. I feel so terrible. You have no idea how much I love you, your soul, your whole being.

I didn't think I could love someone as deeply as I love you. I always will. My selfishness got in the way, it still does. Because I always end up wanting to run to you. Everytime.

Did you know I've written so many letters to you I have lost count? But I have never ever sent any one of them, out of fear.

Tell me, why did you stare into my eyes like you were searching for me? Not the 'me' people know, no. The true me. I did the same with you.

Time stood still, as if it didn't exist anymore. Everything else was blurry in comparison to the beautiful soul staring at me like I was a field full of beautiful flowers.

Alot of times when i'm in God's creation I wish you were beside me. I imagine us sitting beside each other, seeing your cheeky wonderful grin, and truly being in the moment together.

Taking in the sound of the wind in the trees, the clouds and their artistic patterns, the sun streaming on our faces, with birds singing a beautiful song in the tree we sit beneath.

You used to see me staring at clouds often, I found great peace and inspiration in watching them change shape, the way some of them would move rapidly with the wind. They are beautiful, always present and always moving and changing.

Now, one of my favorite things is to watch the sand move in the wind. How magical. 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.'

Becoming more aware of His presence is a beautiful thing. He knows how much it helps me. I hope, atleast, you feel His presence more and more in your life. I hope and pray we all do.

Happy Valentines Day 💝