Broke down at work infront of colleagues and a customer. How should I feel. What will people think?

I’m a 16 year old and I work part time at a fast food restaurant. Before working, I have been struggling with stuttering and my memory. I can easily blank out completely and forget a conversation just that happened just a while ago (though I think is pretty common). Nontheless I thought a fast paced environment would help me to overcome these issues that I have been (still am) facing.

I’ve been working for almost to 4 months, so there are certain expectations that people have of me.

Yesterday however, I was working a full shift. In the afternoon, I was not in the right state of mind. It was very heavy and hazy. This subsequently affected my performance at night, despite me stationed at a position I’m very familiar with. I was so slow, pacing back and forth, and did many things wrongly. This was very unusual of me, even my coworkers realised. One of them asked me if I was okay since I seemed very stressed and not knowing what to do. At that point in time, I knew I messed up shitloads. But I still had to keep going.

That was when I was super unlucky. I accidentally cut myself with a staple bullet. I didn’t know the cut was deeper than a usual paper cut until blood started leaking on the receipts I touched. I was shocked. Those receipts were meant to be given to the customers. Thankfully though, those customers didn’t want a receipt from the start so I could keep the extra clean spare one. The problem though was that it didn’t stop bleeding for 10-15 minutes, and there were still a long line of customers who wanted to pay.

Being a cashier, you’d have to wipe the tables after helping customers to pay. Unluckily the two tables I had to wipe had pools of water customers accidentally spilled, which would take me much more time to clean. Moreover more and more customers wanted to pay, so I had to stop what I was doing and go back to the cashier.

My breaking point was when a guy ordered takeaway. He basically wanted to order a bottle of wine, but restaurant policy states that takeaway orders for wine would require customers to buy something else with it. I told him and he said he will consider. He came back and I double checked with him “So you want the red wine? A whole bottle?”, then he said, in a tone I’m not sure condescending “You mean we can order a glass of wine for takeaway”. This made me think about that one time I actually made this mistake when I was still new, so my voice just cracked and I started breaking down.

Later on after closing, the same colleague asked me the same question, whether I was okay since tonight was extremely messy. This happened infront of two other colleagues. I didn’t mean to break down in front of them. I really didn’t. However, I kept thinking about my incompetence at work, how even after 4 months I couldn’t be as quick as my colleagues, and that I kept stammering. Coupled with flashbacks when my mother scolded me for being useless, incapable, and that she ultimately raised a pig. (She said this more than once). Moreover, when I’m stressed, I sometimes hear voices calling me, which makes me go crazy since sometimes I’ll walk up to customers asking if they needed anything, and my colleagues will see it as I’m walking back and forth. At that point, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was incompetent to say the least. I was problematic and practically a burden. I wish I had the authority to deny, but looking at what’d I done, having my colleagues to resolve so many of my mistakes yesterday night, overwhelmed me with guilt.