Here's my long story about my crush

Hi, this is a second account of course. I’m not here to receive affirmation to confess my love, I’m just here to share some content for entertainment purposes 😊

French is my first language, sorry in advance. I’ll try to explain Québec references to you to understand. For context, I live in the province of Québec, in Canada, in a small region / small village of 600 person. We’re gonna name my crush Emma, 22 years old, fake name of course. Her home is 5 kilometers / 2 miles away from me, so this is not too far. She knows who’s my parents and I know her parents too. My feelings for her went to different phases. Sometime more in love, sometime less, just for you to know that I did not have a crush on Emma for 18 years streak lol.

 

Grab a snack and listen to my crush story.

 

First of all, I’m a really shy / nerdy 22 years old man. Never had a girlfriend. I’m going to university, doing my classes and go home gaming on my computer. Even going outside in bars meeting new people is a stress to me. My friends always try to match me with random girls, but nothing really spark a light in my eyes. The only girl I’m in love is this girl named Emma. My brain is refusing to see another potential girlfriend.

My story begins at pre-school, 4 years old. This is where I met Emma the first time. She was in all my classes until high school / 15 years old. At first, we were stupid kids, but Emma and I were the smartest of our class. The 6 years old me started to take interest in Emma. We were trying to compete each other to know who’s the best at school. Each grade and each mark were important for me just to show off to Emma. The other kids were no match for us with our 95% average score. We never really talked at this point, but this invisible chemistry was linking us to each other, I guess. This competition continued until she left to go to another school 60 KM further away. In the weekend, we were still seeing each other at the swimming classes. Again, who’s the better swimmer ? hahaha.

 

Near 9-10 years old, I got a ¨girlfriend¨ but in retrospect, it was just a friend than anything. It only lasted 3 months or something. But, suddenly, Emma started to text me more regularly. The conversation were always about homework, pool and school. (Nothing in reality lol). But, one day, she decided to invite me to her 10^(th) birthday. Me random ass kid that I was said : ¨Ok¨. After my answer, she sent me a gif that seems like the owl of Duolingo with a big heart. The 10 years old me did not really think of anything from this gif. Foreshadowing : My mom told me like 5-6 years later that her mom told my mom that she thought Emma was in love with me and decided to invite me to her birthday.

 

12-13 years old, I was getting bullied at school. I tried to go into the student council, but Emma won 2 years streak. Still doing the competition thing with Emma, even the other started to know and told me years later that they knew lol. At this point, I started to get attracted by the opposite sex. Emma was on my radar. But I knew Emma was in love with another guy, so I just decided to not care. I cannot do anything about it heh ? We were still doing swimming classes, and we were beginning to do the lifeguard classes.

 

14 years old / start of high school (but still the same school cause our school can do Grade 1 to 12 in conversion American system.) Emma went to another school. It was a mix feeling for me. Happy because I would finally go into the student council. Sad because there was no competition anymore. Emma went to another school, Reason: Bullying. For assuring my position in the student council, I started to talk with others in my class and do silly things. I think you know how it went after that. My grades drop to like 70% and I was not forcing my ass to do schoolwork. Why care about my grade if there is no competition? Something was missing inside me… I was not getting bullied anymore and was making friends.

 

16 years old, last year of high school, still doing lifeguard classes. Her dad drove me and Emma to the pool. We became lifeguards, watching the pool. At one point, she came to the pool to swim. Her mom was watching her from the bench. I went to her mom and asked her if Emma was missing her old day at our school. She said (FUCKING) YES. WHAT. Her mom told me what she was still getting bullied at her new school. It was around Christmas, so I told her mom that if she went, she could come back and I can defend and integrate her back. I had a lot of friends, so it was not a problem and everyone in my school knew Emma, so it was not a problem.

 

One time when I was alone in her father’s car. I ask her this question : Why did you go to another school ? She told me that she thought she could make some friends at her new school but it was worse than when she left my school. I was freaking out in the inside but cannot do really anything but listen to.

 

Around March (JUST BEFORE COVID STARTED), I don’t know why but at our lifeguard job, she asked me with who I was going with to the prom. My giga ass brain answered : Don’t know, if there was one person I would want to go with would be you if you want. She said that she did not want to see her old friends at my school and recommended another girl. At the time, it was not really a problem because in my phase of love, Emma was not really in my radar. It was just to go with a girl to prom.

 

End of school, beach fire party. I don’t know why but she was there at out prom party.  She was REALLY DRUNK. Just remember, I never had a girlfriend and at the time, I did not know what flirt is and how to flirt. Everytime, my friend would say to bring some wood for the fire WITH EMMA. I started to talk to her about the competition thing. When she was there, I was forcing my ass to get good grade. I started to slack off when she went to another school. She said : Really ? (With a big smile). But near the end of the night, she was really drunk and she laid her head on my thighs. You know what I did ? Nothing. I WOULD KILL MY PAST ME FOR NOT MAKING A MOVE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! In September 2020, I would go to CÉGEP (pre-university in Québec) but not at the same place than Emma. You know what her mouth said ? She said : If you have gone to the same CÉGEP than me, I would wanted to live in the same dorm. At the time, I did not really think this as anything BUT WHAT THE FUCK MAN, MAKE A MOVE NO ?!

 

I kept contact with her, texted her like every 6 months or something. But we moved in our own way. Did not work together as lifeguards anymore.

 

April 2023, 20 years old, now my big brain is in love and is at the same state than today. I decided to text her to go swimming together. SHE SAID YES. Went swimming, and she decided to pay me ice cream for the lift. At one point she brings the fact that she never had a boyfriend or something. I was in love, but still didn’t know how to react and flirt…

 

Never went to the pool again, I learned later that she developed a health problem and cannot perfectly stand still. That’s why.

 

I begin to open my feelings to my friends. Funny as that, they always knew I had a crush on Emma. Even one of my friends said I always fantasize about her lol. How can I tell my feelings to Emma ? ¨Invite her to grab a snack¨ Bro, there is not restaurant nearby and I know Emma since when I still was almost wearing a diaper man. Of course, she will know instantly that I have a crush on her. This will be really awkward on text.

 

Texted her sometime when there was some party going on but never wanted to come.

 

Summer 2024, I decided to send her an anonymous letter (DO NOT DO THAT. A BRAIN IN LOVE IS DANGEROUS). Explain her I had a crush on her without telling her who this was really. Drop my cell phone number if she wanted to text. Never had a respond and I don’t know even if she got the letter or not.

 

April 2025, out of FUCKING NOWHERE, she texted me on Messenger (not on my phone number, so she is not texting me because of the letter I sent). She asked me if I still worked at the pool in the summer (no). Taking news from me and typical conversation. We texted all day. Sharing photos of our apartment.

 

June 2025, Saint-Jean-Baptiste (national Québec holiday) (firework, bonfire and stuffs to celebre culture of Québec), I plan with my friend to ask her to come to the party of my friend. She miraculously said yes. But nothing really came out of it. But everyone saw us entering and exiting the same car :O A lot of chatting about us haha...

 

Last time I saw/talked to her was August 2025, I was working for the Ministry of Transport of Québec as a patrol/maintenance/repair road worker (student job). I knew she was working as a tourist guide (also her student job) at someplace. I went with a SUPER DUTY FORD F-250 XLT DIESEL (lol, really different from my car lol (Tesla)) and went talked to her. Still small talk but every small talk with Emma is happiness for me.

 

Now, she’s working in Québec City. Really far from where I live. I still talk to her dad when I go see him at his house.

 

I want to confess to her, but in real. Not in text and not at her job and in private. The problem is this is not some random girl that I can shout my shot and get denied. I know this girl for a very long time. I don’t want to ruin the only friend girl I have a lot of emotional and background similarities. I always thought Emma had at least one-time feelings for me. With all what happened in the past, you cannot say that she was not in love with me at one point.

 

In the meantime, some random girls on Tinder only get swipe left from be because the only one I see as my girlfriend is Emma. I cannot see my self with another girl.

 

Wish me best luck in the future. Sorry to tell you that I will not make a move on February 14.

 

Thank you for reading my enormous text, hope you liked my story.