How to not give a fuck like genuinely

Im 17 still at school in greece and i think im confident and that have that idc mindset but i dont

Im soft when i get in stressful situations I stutter and its one of my biggest insecurities i also act like i dint care what other people think about it but it effects me even if i dont say it it bothering me alot

And because i stutter im not very social i have friends an all but im not that social anymore bc im afraid of stuttering snd getting mocked ig I really need help on how not giving a fuck and just moving on i have seen many tutorials and all but nothin sticks

Im so insecure about everything on me probably bc im a teenager but still how can i find inner peace

I also have this desire that i need to be feared snd respected i think bc I didn’t have s father growing ip and I haven’t experiences a fathers love ig i dont know how to explain it

Sorry for my bad English i dont expect anyone to take me seriously