My girlfriend 21F admitted she lost feelings for me 25F after a late-night fight/confession. I’m lost and don’t know what to do

I need to get this off my chest. Maybe advice, or maybe just someone to sit with me while I process this. We’re almost at six months together. She’s 21 and I’m 25. We’ve been planning to spend Valentine’s Day together, which makes this feel even more sudden and confusing.

Last night, I was finally falling asleep around midnight when my girlfriend came back into the bedroom from the bathroom. She was on the phone with a friend. I normally don’t mind that if she can’t sleep. She nudged me gently, asking me to plug in her AirPods, which I did.

I reminded her that when she talks on the phone in the room while I’m trying to sleep, I can’t really fall asleep. She got upset and went back to the bathroom to continue talking. Then, while standing in the doorway, she yelled at me, “You think you’re so perfect, but you’re not, you’re not perfect.” She later told me she said that because she thought I was telling her what to do, like I was telling her to hang up the phone, which I wasn’t.

She disappeared back into the bathroom for a few minutes. When she came back, she lay facing away from me, then turned onto her back scrolling on her phone. I calmly told her her reaction was uncalled for and that we should talk. Eventually, she came over, hugged me, and apologized.

She also told me that she’s been having a depression episode the last few days, which is part of why she’s been distant and not wanting to be close. She mentioned that her ex has said things like she wants her dead, which has been very upsetting for her. Earlier today, she admitted she’s scared of hurting me and that she’s been distant because she sometimes blacks out and says things in rage.

After that, I asked her directly if she was losing feelings for me. She admitted that yes, she had lost feelings, that she doesn’t know when or why, and that’s why she’s been distant these past few days.

I turned away and cried silently. She asked me for cuddles, and I hesitated. I didn’t actually cuddle with her. I turned back around to talk more, then went into the bathroom to calm down. She told me she misses her single life and the freedom to do whatever she wanted, but she doesn’t know why because I’ve always let her have that freedom. She said she’s trying to love me but doesn’t understand why her feelings faded.

I feel confused, hurt, and blindsided. I don’t know what she wants now, if the relationship is ending, or what happens next. Part of me feels like she doesn’t even care about me, and part of me just wants to understand.

Earlier, there was an intimate moment between us in the hallway. I kissed her, and she got turned on and initiated intimacy. Now she is asleep as if nothing happened while I lie in bed with a gap between us. To make things even more overwhelming, I have to get up for work in a few hours. I don’t know if I should try to have a Valentine’s Day date tonight or if I need space. I am emotionally exhausted and trying to process everything.