Arrgghhh!

Newly diagnosed at 32.2ish years and only started tritation around 32.5ish, brain DUMP sorry! right, now the basics are out of the way...I can't be the only one that feels ripped off getting a strong ADHD/mild autism diagnosis pretty late in life? I had to crash and burn HARD in many ways multiple times until practically suxxxdal... like I've been struggling through years of anxiety/depression meds that did eff all, battled platonic/ un platonic relationships and employment throughout my life... now well into adult hood, I've been through enough stuff to make me kinda weak, atleast close to alcoholic and the proud owner one of the most accidentally sarcastic/pessimistic personalities known to man with a healthy side dish of rejection sensitivity and self esteem issues... I now have the answers I always wanted, but was strongly pushed to quit working for a reasonable period of time due to how messy my brain has been and now I am between super motivated for a few great things but mostly random ASF stuff (I feel more extra at times?!) or feeling sorry for myself as I'm sooo beaten down and angry, and don't really know much about what parts of myself are are legit outside of the crazy... if diagnosed and treated at childhood, I might have dodged atleast some of the hell I've been through...dunno what I'm needing out of this post, just emptying my ping pong ball head I guess