PMDD plus NPD partner: so unbearable

I’m on my way out in a matter of months after I prepare better financially. When I’m not in luteal I’m strong enough to get through. But I’m day 27 right now. I’m spiraling and my brain is pressuring me to come up with immediate exit solutions. I can’t stand the pressure on myself. It’s so so much. I try to tell myself it’s not real. To use my skills and my anchors. But it’s so hard. Especially with having my kids and having to fake it for Valentine’s Day tomorrow. To anyone else trying to navigate a complex break up while in “dark time…” I see you. We don’t have to figure it all out today. Sometimes the best goal is to just survive the next hour… Time for Ativan so my mind can hopefully settle.