Bottoms: how do you handle the constant “what if I get dirty again” panic after douching?

I’m basically a 100 % bottom and I love it, but every single time I prep I end up in this spiral. I douche until the water runs clear, wait for while then sit on the toilet to make sure all the water is out... Then I’m lying there convinced that the second I relax or eat something or even just breathe wrong, I’m going to ruin it and he’s going to pull out with… well, you know. The fear is so bad it sometimes kills the mood before we even start.

I’ve heard a few guys mention taking Imodium or Buscopan the day they bottom to basically “lock everything down.” I’ve never tried it and I’m a little nervous about side effects or it feeling unnatural.

Would love to hear from fellow bottoms who’ve been through this — especially the ones who used to be paranoid and finally found a method that lets them just enjoy it. Thanks in advance.