[astro-seek]!!!! I am starting over!!!!

I'm (23f) not gonna lie, I've always been depressed and estranged from mostly everyone in my life, and ive struggled with addiction the last few years and i'm now trying to take back control of my life and start over. I have never been good at holding myself accountable and became estranged from loved ones and selfish/abusive to myself, as well as become someone I don't recognize. I have gotten into terrible situations that never would have happened had I been sober. I am embarrassed of myself. I used to work in media (independent contractor), then high level hospitality. The mix of great money and nightlife from that job did not bode well for me, temptation everywhere,. Terrible bravado came from that, turned me into an ass. I don't know what kind of career to pivot to now that I have a chance to start over. I love media , pop culture, and music. But again i'm starting fresh and because I fried my brain I have to relearn everything from ground zero and have no professional experience. I don't really get starstruck because of my hospitality job, I serviced lots of high profile clients. I know how or can learn to upsell, I guess, I was always top of sales and I can talk to almost anyone. My media knowledge also helped because I could spot a producer, celeb, niche influencer at work and we give them better service. I like making money (who doesn't) and all I really know is that I have 8th house stellium which is good for the mystics but I am not connected to my spiritual side because the last time I kind of went off the deep end and my dreams were crazy and it made me suicidal. I don't really know how to make money off of that.I also am more drawn to more respected professions. So any advice would really help career wise. I want to be great, I want to be successful. I want to make an impact, and hopefully I find something to love and work for so I can stop feeling like this, and to be sober. ALSO! I feel like people irl who do astrology are weird about my chart (vague and touchy) so any insights would help me out, and let me know if you have questions for me to better understand your hunches on people with my placements.