still don't recognize yourself in the mirror after leaving?

left my toxic relationship 4 months ago

everyone kept saying "you'll find yourself again" like it was automatic

but the mirror still shows a stranger

spent years shrinking myself to fit his version of me

quiet when he wanted quiet

laughing at jokes that weren't funny

dropping hobbies he didn't approve of

turns out when you erase yourself that thoroughly

coming back isn't just a decision

it's a daily practice of remembering who you were before him

and discovering who you're becoming now

what actually helped wasn't affirmations or "just love yourself"

it was tiny acts of rebellion:

made my coffee exactly how i like it (not how he did)

wore the sweater he called "frumpy"

sat in silence for 5 minutes without reaching for my phone to numb the quiet

small proofs that i still existed beneath all that self-abandonment

if you're staring at your reflection wondering where you went

you're not broken

you're just rebuilding

and rebuilding takes time when you spent years disappearing on purpose

you'll find your way back

one small "no" to his ghost and one small "yes" to yourself at a time