My job has broken me and I just see no way out

Hey ya’ll,

Not sure what I’m looking for here, maybe messages of hope that it’s possible and some advice on how to cope would probably be great. Maybe some tough love. I can’t escape my mind/brain about this situation and it’s ruining me.

I think im quite severely burnt out from my job. I was signed off for a bit but didn’t find it helpful. I’ve never cried as much as I have over the past 3 months. It’s pretty much a daily occurrence- I have panic attacks every other day. I don’t sleep properly anymore without beta blockers, which give me sweats and weird nightmares. My partner and I sleep in separate beds and our relationship has been strained. He is so supportive but I can see it’s affecting him too.

The most basic of tasks leads me to making a lot of mistakes and overthinking everything. Woke up this morning crying over some data pull I did yesterday that probably wasn’t right.

There are so much bigger issues in the world and every time I burst into tears over something stupid as the above I try to take a step back and rationalise that no one is dying, but it’s a constant loop and battle. The most basic decision feels like I’m performing brain surgery, when I work in marketing! I’ve lost weight and my hair is falling out. I’m only 50% present in situations and friendships. I never knew a job could do this to me, and I just feel so dumb for letting it get like this but I can’t escape. I’m updating my CV, and trying to look for something new, but there’s not much out there and the block in my brain is nuts, I don’t know how I’d answer a basic interview.