Gender disappointment ruining excitement of pregnancy announcement

Pregnant with our first and only (planned) baby. I truly thought I didn't have a preference for gender besides a healthy baby, but we recently found out we are expecting a boy and I was inconsolable for an entire day which is weird because I'm not a girly girl. I've never dreamed of being a mother. I think I've just always found preference in my niece and friend's little girls over their boys. My husband does not have a preference and he's been nothing but a saint trying to comfort me. I've read all the "You won't care once the baby is here" posts, but I mainly just feel numb now. We got the NIPT results at 11 weeks and am now just not wanting to tell anyone else that we are expecting, let alone the gender due to my emotional state. I told my husband I was "tabling" telling anyone else until after our next scan at 13 weeks, but I really just need some mental space from the pregnancy news. I feel like I'm already failing as a mother and already can't mentally handle watching my loved ones be disappointed in my poor attitude over a healthy baby. Tonight I couldn't even tell our closest friends, who knew of our pregnancy hours after our positive test, the gender results as her little girl sat quietly in the next room coloring and her toddler boy was screaming and throwing things.

Just feeling overwhelmed in many capacities and hoping for some words of wisdom from some kind strangers on the Internet.