Porn addiction has numbed my life, in a way

I've started watching porn at roughly 8y old but as a kid it wasnt that harmfull... yet. Only maybe at around 16 y I started to realize what it had done to me but I didnt have the resolve to quit and didnt consider it that bad.

Now at (nearly) 20y I guess I fully realize what it has done to me. Problems with talking to girls I'm interested in? possibly worsened from porn.

Problems focusing on my studies? definitely worsened from porn, and I even chose a academically challeging path which has been severely set back because of porn.

And to top It all off most things I do just feel meaningless. I just feel like most things get boring really fast.

And while watching porn? I constantly do It while thinking "This is so stupid"

I like to think of myself as a smart guy, so I can see where things have gone south on the social sphere of things (which mainly includes opinions) and I guess I've worked most of It down. But I just feel like a complete idiot on how to stop watching porn or masturbating. It doesnt even feel good anymore, and i fully realize how bad it all is.

So yeah, porn has massively changed how my life turned out and I feel like I'm in a hole.

The only "good" side of all of this is that I'm sort of recovering mentally, as I used to just constantly feel like drowning (mainly due to religious convertion, but I guess thats not appropiate for this sub)

This is more of a venting than anything, but oh well