what am I supposed to do

my bf and I broke up around 3 months ago and I feel like I am losing my mind. He struggled with his mental health half way through our relationship and it really took a toll on our relationship. I did all the right things, suggested SSRIs, pushed for therapy etc. I love him so deeply and I would’ve stayed through it all. He broke up with me in November, claiming he just can’t continue to put me through this (he was becoming more and more distant). I was (and am) absolutely devastated. He told me that he never fell out of love and it was purely just because he saw his behaviour was harming me. We have only gone no contact for a total of 7 days and the pain was just agonising for me. I have tried suggesting getting back together in the future but he is adamant on that not happening because he “can’t put me through this again” and he doesn’t want me to put my life on hold to wait for him. I’m just constantly confused because we both know we love each other but how is he okay with this possibility of not being with me ever again? I can’t let him go, I have lost so much weight, I’m severely depressed and can’t function. We do work together which means I see him some weeks and it’s just so hard.