need advice on cheating bf

hi i am 20f and my bf is 21. i knew my bf since 2021 but we’ve only gotten in a relationship last year. at the beginning everything was perfect. there was no arguments, no lack of trust. it all went downhill when he started his new school and met this girl. time went by and both of them entered the same friendgroup and as his gf it was normal i became slightly jealous.

a little detail on me is that i have no social media, while my bf has. i dont have any opposite gender friends, but he has. i lower my gaze and the only guy i talk and care about is my bf, apart from my family members.

time passed and that girl gradually gained feelings for him n i told him to keep his distance from her. he promise me he would and he would refrain from talking to her because talking to someone that likes you while youre in a relationship is wrong. months went on and suddenly i saw a notification on his phone and it was her. he quickly swiped it up and i was so speechless. didnt know what to say or do, i questioned him about it and he said “ohh she just text me i only replied coldly” but the thing is, he promised and never even told me they were texting? so okay i let it go. maybe it was just a mistake? im very forgiving.

months went on and.. He cheated on me 6 times, a few times with the same girl, and the other times with other girls that i dont even know about.

i was working in retail and so was he, but separated locations. there was a guy in my workplace that liked me and my bf was jealous so he told me its either i quit the job, or he’d break up with me. and because im stupid and i love him, i quit the job. and just last week, this is the most heartbreaking part. i found out that he and the girl he met in school was coworkers. and he never told me a thing. i quit my job for him because he was so worried, but behind my back he was doing worse. so i took a bunch of pills and overdosed because that was my last straw. i took it with alcohol and got admitted to the hospital. the next day, i found out i was 2 months pregnant.

my heart stopped. a day after i found out i was pregnant, i suddenly had a miscarriage. doctor says it might be because of stress, or the overdose. i feel so sad because if i knew i was pregnant, i wouldve been more careful. and i feel so angry at my bf because he keeps not wantinf to change, and because of him i overdose. i know it was my own actions but i cant help to feel so angry. i have every rights to be mad. but unfortunately i love him too much to let go. idk what im holding onto either🥹 i guess i have attachment issues. he lies to me so often and so easily too.

btw she cameover his house twice n they went to school together and i know nothing of it. theres so much more teas i could spill but i just need advice at this point of time. im still grieving and i really am lost.