I didn’t let the HIV stigma win, and neither should you!

Hello everyone,

I wanted to stop by and share some positivity. I was diagnosed with HIV on December 16th, 2025. Getting that diagnosis right before the holidays completely ruined them for me. I truly thought my life was over.

I’ve been in a monogamous gay relationship for many years. It turns out I was likely infected before we started dating. Because I was only with my current partner and had never cheated, I never thought to get tested. My doctor believes I had HIV for many years and called me a “slow progressor” based on my numbers.

I was distraught the entire month of January. I carried this alone. I stopped being intimate with my partner. I felt disgusting and wouldn’t even let others touch me. I fell into a deep depression. I was in shock. I even had moments where I questioned whether I wanted to keep going.

Here was my timeline:

Jan 2, 2026: Viral Load 4,570,000; CD4 369

Jan 8, 2026: Started Biktarvy

Feb 5, 2026: Viral Load 330; CD4 710

Despite this incredible progress, I still had one of the hardest things left to do: tell my boyfriend. I was terrified. Not just of losing him, but of losing our life together — our home, our cats, our future. But I knew I had to tell him. For his safety, and because I love him too much to take away his right to choose.

Two days ago, I finally did it. When he came home, I asked him to sit down. I immediately broke down crying. I told him I needed his full attention and that I was going to be completely honest with him. After I told him, he looked at me, hugged me, and gave me the most beautiful kiss. He said, “That doesn’t change how beautiful you are. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He then told me he had recently been tested during his regular doctor check ups, and he’s HIV negative. He plans on continuing to get tested and plans on coming to my appointments with me to help me navigate through this. That same day, he started setting daily alarms for my medication and held me while I took it that day for the first time in front of him.

Today, on Valentine’s Day, we had the most amazing date. In a strange way, this diagnosis has made our relationship even stronger — I’m even engaged now 😊

I also shared my diagnosis with two of my best friends. They cried — not because they saw me differently, but because they couldn’t believe I had gone through that pain alone in January. Since then, I’ve felt nothing but love and support. And it made me realize something:

I’ve faced stigma my whole life.

When I moved to the U.S., I faced the stigma of being an immigrant and not speaking English. I overcame it. I learned the language and became a citizen.

When people told me college and STEM weren’t for someone like me — a minority, gay, and from a family without financial support — I overcame it. I earned my degree, then my PhD, and built a successful engineering career.

And when I was diagnosed with HIV, I read so many stories of rejection that I started to internalize that stigma too. But I decided to be brave. I chose to use my courage and my truth as my weapon. And I overcame that stigma too. Even if rejection ever comes from others in the future, the people who matter most to me have already chosen love.

So please hear me when I say this:

Your life is not over.

Be safe. Be brave.

The best way to battle stigma is by accepting yourself! HIV doesn’t define you, you define you!

I’m on my way to becoming undetectable — and so are you.

Use your truth as your weapon. It will either bring you closer to the people who truly love you, or show you who was never meant to walk beside you in the first place.

Either way, you win.

You’ve got this. ❤️