Writer Workshop: [Crumple]

Hi! I’d love feedback and critique on Crumple. It’s 11 chapters (with a 12th that was just a teaser for the sequel) and 91k. 

I wrote it in 2014, mostly just going off vibes and not worrying about details at all. It’s received a few minor tweaks since then – mostly in the first chapter (quite recently) subtly but significantly adjusting how Hermione and Draco interact, and with some typo corrections etc – but it’s fairly untouched despite me having written a whole 200k+ sequel to it 🫣

My beta and I want to go through it soon and give it a light overhaul (fresh paint, carpets, and curtains – maybe not knocking out walls and adding on massive extensions), so I feel like critique would be really valuable. Basically anything constructive is welcomed, keeping in mind that I’d rather not change the entire structure of the fic, so if there are some truly fundamental issues that would require reworking everything to fix, they’ll probably be staying there.

Some specific things I’ve wondered about are:

• Does Draco’s motivation to help Hermione need more fleshing out, or is it enough, especially given as she doesn’t know what he’s thinking?
• Do the interactions between the two seem well-paced and unfold plausibly?
• Is there not enough mention of Draco’s parents early on, or is that unnecessary?
• Should there be more mention of how the war is going, and what happened prior to Hermione’s capture?
• Is Draco’s rather tenuous position in Voldemort’s ranks both clear, and believable? 
• Does Draco’s actual work with Voldemort need to be explored more?
• And a big one, which goes against everything I’ve said up until now: would the fic be massively improved by including Draco’s perspective in several additional chapters, perhaps after chapters 3, 6, and 9?

Apart from any overall critique people who’ve read it recently might want to offer up, I’d love to get constructive criticism on chapters 1, 3, and 5 in particular. 

1 and 3 are pivotal chapters, with 1 potentially being the weakest, as it’s meant to set everything up, and might still be too ‘vibes based’ and not realistic or plausible enough. And both 1 and 3 are where I feel my desire for realism is very important. I want the traumatic events to be plausible in motivation and reaction, and not outright gratuitous – while still not flinching away from showing the stark reality. And 5 is one where their relationship dynamic shifts, so I’d love critique and advice on whether the pacing and relationship development in that chapter feels engaging and believable.

Really though, any good faith, constructive criticism is great!! Typos, paragraph size issues, plot holes, things that aren’t explained well, pacing – I’d love to hear it all!

(Please do mind the tags and notes, if you haven’t read it before!)