Help with friends addiction

Sorry, idk if this is the right place to post this but this sub has really helped me understand.

Hi everyone, I’m on a new account because my main has personal details and I don’t want to identify anyone.

I’m having a really hard time and could use some advice from people who’ve been through this.

My friend has been struggling with cocaine and alcohol addiction for years, in and out of rehabs, jail, everything. We recently moved close to each other again, and I’ve become one of his main support systems.

Two months ago I brought him to rehab. He stayed five weeks, then relapsed two days after getting out, went on a bender, and ignored me for a month. A few weeks ago he finally called asking for help again.

Since then, I’ve basically been there day and night. Making sure he doesn’t die. Trying to convince him to go back to treatment. Sitting with him while he cycles through intense physical pain and emotional breakdowns. It’s heartbreaking. I’m terrified he’s going to die. I can literally see his body and mental capacity shutting down.

He keeps getting close to agreeing to detox or rehab, then comes up with another excuse. I sit there for hours begging him to help himself. I know I can’t force him. I know that. But watching this happen feels unbearable.

I feel selfish even saying this, because I know he’s sick and in so much pain, but I feel like I’m being tortured too. I work full time and used to have my own life. Now every second outside of work is spent listening to him suffer, worrying he’s going to die, trying to save him while he refuses help. I’m completely exhausted.

He’s gotten to the point where he tells me he wants to die in his sleep from overdosing because he doesn’t want to get help, he just wants the pain to end. Hearing that destroys me.

I know I’m probably enabling him by being there while he continues to destroy himself (even though I’m actively trying to help). But I can’t just walk away. He calls saying he’s in withdrawal and dying, but then won’t let me take him to the hospital. If I don’t show up and something happens, I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself.

I care about him so much. I’m scared. I’m sad. I’m burned out.

I also have a vacation coming up, and it’s gotten to the point where I want to cancel because I’m afraid something will happen when I’m not there.

I guess my questions are:

•	Has anyone successfully convinced someone to get help?

•	How do you support someone without enabling them?

•	And honestly… how do you keep someone alive when they don’t want to help themselves?

If anyone has experience loving someone through addiction, I would really appreciate hearing from you. I feel so lost.

Sorry for rambling. I’m just really scared.