I am tired

I genuinely don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m so exhausted and tired. The thought of living another 30-40 years tires me out. I don’t want to grow old. I don’t want to be this way every day for the rest of my life. I’m even more exhausted because I don’t want to cause the little family I have pain. I can’t fathom how torn my parents or sister might be. Instead then I pray to get taken out by a bullet, a crazed person, a heart attack a car, anything instead of inflicting this. I feel cornered. Does anyone feel the same?