Wife (35yr old female) says her ex is her crowning achievement.

I’m a 30yr old female and my wife is a 35 year old female. So when we first got together over three years ago she told me her ex was her crowning achievement. She said she was a tall blonde haired blue eyed Ukrainian,(no shade on that btw) but I’m a short brown haired brown eyed Mexican girl. The complete opposite of her “crowning achievement.” The ex had been brought up a few times since then. She was telling this story about a time, (before we got together) where she was at a bar (they had broken up by this point) and the same ex was there and she, “had an ass that she could recognize from across the bar.” When I feel like she could have just said I saw her across the bar. And another time she thought it would be funny to tell me a story about her sleeping with the same ex on the dresser that was in our bedroom. She has apologized profusely since and told me that I’m her crowning achievement and that she was stupid and shouldn’t have ever said those things. The problem is she created a crater in my self esteem and my trust that she isn’t just placating me. I don’t feel beautiful when she tells me I am. I feel like silver place when her ex was gold. I don’t know how to forgive her or heal. I don’t know where to start with making myself feel worthy and beautiful again. I have always been a woman of confidence but this has just shattered me and it’s been years and I’m still not healed. Help.

TLDR: wife killed my self esteem talking up her ex throughout our relationship I need help building myself back up.