I felt like meat. Omg this is what women feel like?!

OK, so background, I was always fat. Like fat as fuck. Like the fact that women would look at me, and they wouldn’t ever consider me in a potential mate.

I got addicted to math, and this is what I liked about it is that I would lose weight.

Keep that in mind as I describe this

So I’m single for the first time to lost weight. Like a lot of weight. Like a whole person’s worth of body weight I would go places and run into people. I knew women would flirt with me. I didn’t understand how to take that. To the point where like my previous partner would tell me like you’re hot and I would think I was a piece of shit. I hated the way it looked. Even after the weight loss. Well, now, friends that I consider just friends. People I never ever thought there would be some sort of attraction with hitting on me. It is the worst feeling I’ve ever fucking experienced. Not because they’re hitting on me, because honestly, it’s kind of flattering in one way. But like overall, they never did that when I was fat. Am I really just a combination of my weight and my height? Like I called my best friend. She’s been my best friend for years off and on because my girlfriend hated her, but I called her and I said hey I’m hurting really bad. Please talk to me. I told her about how I feel like trash because when I was fat, nobody gave a fuck if I existed. Now that I’m skinny women haven’t talk to me, people hit me up on Facebook and asked for my phone number. I was trying to explain to her. I feel like a my appearance was the only thing that mattered. Like I was not human. Like I was just a fucking walking body. And she started fucking hitting on me! She said she like of course you’re fucking getting people looking at you you’re sexy. I love you. You’re so fucking hot of course people want to be with you. And I know that she was trying to be supportive, I know that she was trying to build me up, but it just made it so much worse I felt like she confirmed I was just a piece of meat like I was like can people love me for me and she was like you’re not worth loving, but your body is cool. That was a breakdown all by itself. I laid boundaries out and they were cross the next sense. Not even permanent boundaries, just like I hate right now this is what I need. Well on top of that, I realized I did this person. My ex left me because she felt like all I care about was sex. Then a real pain hit. I realize this is what women deal with all the time. This is how it feels to not have a penis?! like the only thing that’ll ever matter is how cute you are?? How do women deal with this. Why does anybody ever have to feel like this? This is the person feeling I’ve ever felt and I’ve literally been shot. How does see anybody ever know that what they’re doing is authentic and real?? How because any woman ever feel like this or not have a complete breakdown and diid I do this to my partner?! it may not be quite a bit or ehow I felt, but I definitely get how she “could feel this way. And after experiencin from people, I don’t even know, I can’t imagine what it feels like from your person. I wunna die when I think about her feeling like this. Knowjtim the cause. Fuck. I see why women hate men. I understand. The only women who has made me feel differently I lost because I made her feel like this. wtf.