messed around with my name too much i need genuine advice

So I have a name, say initialy J, F, M... m being my last name.

Growing up i;d go between using names J and F but sometimes online unrelated names.

Fine. Right now though, in college, I used to have name F in some places but its not name J or a nickname from name J that sounds like name F.

However I also like name Jj, but its more of a mens name, and use it in a couple places but due to reasons(like tech mishaps and the fact that im very much closeted) I only use it in two places.

So I end up with J, Jj (but i cant use this in some places + its harder to pronounce apparently, except i forgot i changed my name in some place to that and it got used and yeah i wouldnt mind using it elsewhere if i could.) I've tried retiring any and all use of name F so everything is tied to my first name now. (but i use too many variations).

And like idk whats up with that