They say you just know

I've always hated the whole, "you'll just know what it feels like to be loved the right way." It feels like I'll never experience it, and it hurts. I don't want to resent love or whatever but like it's just not a thing for me. Why do I deserve it though... I'm just some loser who keeps seeing the best in people that have hurt and abandoned me over and over again. I don't care anymore, or at least I wish I didn't. I can't even rely on the "love" of my own mother. Why would I possibly trick myself into thinking I deserve anything else than this. This will forever be my life. I give up

I pray you never feel the same way I do. No matter what just remember that I love you.