AITAH for how it ended between me and my situationship?

I feel really bad and I can't stop spiraling about what's happened this last week. My friends keep telling me that I'm fine, but I feel like I need outsider input. I just....feel terrible.

Context:

So to begin, my ex-situationship (M22) and I (F21) met back in 2023. I was working as a waitress and he came in with his friends. I served their table and he came back in after getting his friends in the car to get my snapchat. It started out like the normal puppy love stuff. We'd meet up after I got off work of whenever I could get a day off. He responded so fast and we'd send funny pictures about our days back and forth because both of us had such tight fit schedules. We carved pumpkins in the back of my car once, and had so many late night parking lot dates I can't even count. I thought it was all turning into something, it felt so...real. After about two months, the texting and communication become less and less. I would hear or see from him maybe once a week, and I did try to express how that made me feel but I very vividly the response I got. (Which I will leave out because I'll be mortified if he finds out I'm seeking insight online.) Not long down the line after that he had to leave for training on a MEU, and about halfway through he told me he missed me after saving all the pictures I'd sent about my days into the chat. Then a month after the MEU training, he was leaving for deployment. I was texting him the night before he was supposed to leave. I asked if any of it was actually real, because in a moment when I needed reassurance, I got the reality check of a lifetime. He told me it was all a lie and he only wanted me for one thing, which most reading can assume. That ended things and while stupid, I really didn't hate him for it. I saw the signs, but didn't act on it.

Skip to 2025. I got a message request and to be fair, I did react cold and resistant when I first saw the notification. But, he apologized even after I reacted poorly to his first attempt. It made those old feelings come back. The version of him I knew before would die on the hill he was on, but the one who apologized was more matured, and caring. I asked him if he wanted to go to the beach the next day. In truth, it was a test of my own to see if he only wanted one thing from me and not actual communication and contact. He didn't. He just wanted to have fun and catch up. We started talking again, and I found out he was having surgery and getting out of the military. I was excited and heavily worried for him. Excited that he gets to start doing what he likes to do and begin a new life for himself, but worried because I know better then most how scary a big surgery can be. We talked through the surgery, and even stayed the weekend somewhere peaceful afterwards so he could recover away from the craziness of his job. This is where everything becomes so........complicated in my mind. After the surgery and as he got closer and closer to getting out of his job, he constantly told me that he just needed space, he's going back, home when he got out, and when he spoke he always said that there was nobody there for him, which kind of hurt my feelings because I was trying to be there every step of the way, but he just...didn't want me presence in those steps, which I try to understand but I know I never will. The part that made me keep going back, was that when we're in person, he treats me like I'm the greatest girl in the world. We have talks about how we cared for each other, our futures and the things we aspire to have in them. We'd cuddle for hours on end, and he even let me keep some of my things in his room after a while.

Last Sunday he came back from visiting home, and asked me to pick him up from the airport. Which isn't the point of anything, but I think it's relevant. I gave him somethings early because I found out he doesn't celebrate Valentines day. We sat in the car warming up, and he was telling me about how his visit home was, told me I was always welcome to visit when he gets back and stays there. We listened to music and he called his friends the whole way back, and we even cleaned up his room some before I had to head out. He was tired from the traveling, and I had to get home to my folks. Later in the evening I was talking to him about getting out of my city. I've never really traveled, and the way he describes where he lives just made it seem like a nice place to visit if I ever got a new car and traveled. I told him that maybe if I got a new car before he got out of the military, I could make my first ever real trip somewhere by driving him down home. That's when he told me that I "couldn't love him" and wasn't "going to be apart of this next stage" in his life. I can admit I got super upset because he had just started to say he loved me back, and we had just done all of this stuff together, but it all meant nothing just like the time before. He said that he did love me, but that he just didn't feel like I was going to be a part in these next stages of his life, and that he can't love me the way I want to be loved.

In my eyes, that means it meant nothing to begin with, but that's just because that's how I love. I love him so much I was willing to change certain parts about me to make myself better for him, and even if I wasn't allowed to be apart of his end game, I still wanted to be apart of his life enough to see and help him succeed. I have my own gals, and my own plans for life, but one of those goals was to see him succeed and finally feel happy and fulfilled in his own.

In my own rage, I asked for the things I'd given him on the trip back from the airport, and my own personal items from his room back. I put so much into it I felt wronged. I regretted it as soon as I watched him pull a tote with literally everything I'd ever gotten him out of the back of his friends trunk. I told him that I didn't want to take those things because they were his, I got them for him and they're always going to be his. He said he didn't care and didn't even look at me as he slammed the door and they drove off. I told him I was sorry the next day and that I wanted him to take his things back because they're not mine, they're his. He blocked me on social media, but not through my number, and so I messaged him through there and asked if he could just please take it all back. He said yes, but something personal happened that made it ultimately impossible for me to ever give him it all back. I've messaged him through my new number but he hasn't responded.

Am I truly the jerk here? Did I misinterpret his feelings and needs the entire time because I was so focused on my own? Or am I currently just a delusional trainwreck because my entire life has been uprooted and turned upside down in the span of a week.