17F, worst heartbreak of my life.. and I want help getting over it

Call me stupid while you read this, call me whatever you want honestly. I just cannot get over the utter heartbreak I’ve gone through..

It all started in October , I met a guy who was my boss technically, we had a three year age gap (16-19). For five months it was very good, but I was skeptical because he had an ex back in high school who cheated on him many times. He talked about her like he missed her and he loved her still, but I shook every feeling of it off. He said she was more his type, but he still thought I was perfect and beautiful. She was 14, he was 18, (me and her are same age) she was everything he said was closest to his type, and he said I wasn’t anything of his preference. (I’m his second IRL gf) Again…maybe a red flag. 5 months in, he cheats on me with some girl on a video game. Says he never remembered it. We breakup, he says he almost offed himself because he regret it. Stayed together, except my parents separated us because he talked about r!pe a lot. (Cnc ig) He ends up liking other girls, and making me consider dating him while he dates other girls. Keep in mind he’s never done this. I find out he cried thinking about wedding songs that him and his ex were planning, and he could talk about her for hours. Shook it off. He flirts with his best friend, I shook it off. I was always there…always always. My first love so unfortunately someone who doesn’t love me. He always continued liking others, but telling me he liked control and wanted me to stay. Today, he broke up with me on Valentine’s Day. Said he might not be over his ex. He wasted almost 2 years of my life, and it feels surreal. Was this some form of abuse? Why did I stay for so long…why does he get to get away with this, and why does I have to feel like shit. I’ve spent months wishing I was someone else, hurting myself, and becoming an awful person. I don’t know what to do, I want help.