I'm so dumb y'all

So here's where I'm at everyone. Quit a multi month pseudo habit for 31 days, then started back and did 3 weeks again until stopping. Used subs for the first time and made it 10 days, then stopped subs and used 7oh for another week and a half. Then I stopped again for another week using subs, then used pseudo again for another 3 days. Now I'm on day 2 of stopping again using subs. So dumb man, I really want this one to stick. The first 3 days I always think wow I never want to go through this again, and the I put myself through it again once feeling a little better. Really want this one to stick, and so far my mindset has changed in the sense that I can't keep doing this, just want to feel normal again and the only way out is through. Need some support yall, I hope and pray for all of you with this dirty drug. I've never had a problem with anything before discovering this, makes me feel like the worst thing I could have ever let myself turn into.