15 weeks postpartum and we feel like roommates… share your disappointing Valentine’s stories with me

I’m 15 weeks postpartum and if I’m being honest, my relationship hasn’t felt the same for over a year. It used to feel like we were made for each other. When I got pregnant, I expected to be loved on more. I thought maybe we’d connect more. At the very least, I thought intimacy wouldn’t completely disappear. But it did.

Postpartum, he’s been helpful in practical ways. He does laundry, cleans, helps around the house. I won’t take that away from him. But emotionally? We just feel more distant as the weeks go on. Or maybe it’s just me pulling away.

I’m the primary caretaker. I EBF and work from home. I’m with our baby girl all day. When I ask him to watch her so I can shower or get something done, he gets impatient sometimes. Almost annoyed. He loves her, I know he does. But sometimes it feels like he thinks telling her “I love you” is the full extent of fatherhood.

We feel like roommates who share a baby.

I don’t initiate anything anymore. I don’t even want to try. I feel disappointed in so many ways and it’s hard to fake desire when you feel emotionally disconnected.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, he kept talking about doing something cute for me and our baby girl. I didn’t get excited because he has a history of bad follow through. I knew it would be last minute. So I went to the store myself and got him chocolates and a card from me and one from our baby. Bare minimum, but at least I did something for him, you know?

Morning comes. He says happy Valentine’s Day and gives me a hug in bed. We give him his gifts at like 8am. By 2pm, nothing for us. He says he’s going to wash his car and then go to the store. I already knew what that meant.

He came back with flowers and a card.

And I had to be grateful, right? Because at least he did something.

But it’s the last minute, bare minimum, predictable effort that makes it worse. It feels like obligation, not intention.

Anyway, I don’t need “leave him” comments lol. I just needed to vent. If you had a disappointing Valentine’s Day, share it so I don’t feel alone 😭😂

And if you had a beautiful, romantic day, I genuinely love that for you. I truly love love. It’s just… my relationship isn’t there right now.