I am not a good person anymore.

Don't know if i was at some point but i really feel i have changed a lot over this one year after i have passed out from my 12th. [long story short- i broke up with almost every friend of mine after my 12th and it was not only my fault. after that i promised to work on myself and i do it as well but as a person in delhi i also miss the fun i used to have.. i had a loving girlfriend back then. good friends but that shit hurts now. Now being too frustrated all the time for those things that i dont have now i see myself as a negative and defensive person. i use people now and dont believe in building connections anymore. i know it's wrong but can't help. After 2024 i only had one girl who used to talk to me but still i fucked it up by just being physical with her on our first meet and blocking her right away. I seriously am hating what i am becoming and i miss the old me. i am just 19 and living life as a poor bitch. I dont remember the last time i prayed too..

I hit the gym and its the only thing that's working right now.