Too Guarded, or Does She Feel the Distance?

My wife and I sleep I different bedrooms for the last 2yrs (at her request. No infidelity, just incompatibility). Separation is on the table, but we both would like to work it out. When she wants to cuddle or has a nightmare, she’ll occasionally come lay in my bed for a while before going back to bed. She’s against me coming in her room unannounced, etc.

To protect my peace and my mental health, I’ve recently pulled back on kisses, attempts to hug, caresses/grabbing her ass, etc.

Some of my beard care/skin care products for the shower are in the bedroom she sleeps in, and I’ll grab them when I wake up to shower. For the last few days, she’s been asking me to cuddle with her in her bed, in what I guess is her desire to feel close again Now that I’ve stopped. After multiple failed attempts at V-Day going all out, I stopped that too this year buying something small.

Despite our situation, I love her, and I never want to come off jaded. Am I being too guarded by blocking these attempts at closeness, or am I justified in protecting myself from being led on?