I'm hungry, y'all. I can't do this anymore.

48. Doctor won't do shit. Just lectures me about my diet. My diet isn't that bad. Could it be better? Sure. I'll fully admit that. I work nights so nothing is really open so I eat a lot of prepared foods. I'm divorced and live by myself so I don't have a lot of time or reason to cook when I'm only feeding myself.

But my lunches at work are sandwiches with turkey breast. My frozen meals are the Healthy Choice or Smart Ones. Breakfast is usually protein oatmeal, Greek yogurt with nuts or granola, scrambled eggs. Something like that.

I work out 3-5x a week. Always do weights and I'm pretty strong. I've been at it for 4 years, I have some decent muscle mass. I don't have time for a lot of cardio but I work in at least 45 minutes a couple times a week.

And I just keep. packing. on. weight.

I count calories. I'm now down to 700/day AND STILL GAINING.

I'm 5'4". A year and a half ago I was 120. I'm small boned. My wrists are 5.5". I'm NOT a big person. Never have been. My pants felt wrong last week - I wear scrubs so always the same style pants. Got in the scale. 138.

I look horrible. I FEEL horrible. *I'm fucking starving*. And STILL gaining.

Doctor ordered thyroid tests and that was fine so now it's "You really need to watch your diet! You're probably snacking more than you realize or drinking sugary drinks!"

I'm not. I'm not I'm not I'M FUCKING NOT! I log EVERYTHING that goes into my face. I. HARDLY. EAT. HOW CAN I BE GAINING WEIGHT?????

"You're still in a healthy BMI! Nobody stays their HS weight! (That one came with a finger wag)."

I have an HMO. The odds of finding another doctor are slim to none. I KNOW this is peri. Nothing else has changed! I'm HUNGRY! I'm always shaky, snappy, exhausted. I can't exercise anymore because I'M STARVING and I have no energy and STILL somehow packing on pounds. I've never been even CLOSE to 140 in my life. Not ever once. During the pandemic I was 110 which was too thin but I've always historical DROPPED weight way easier than I held it or gained it. In fact I started lifting because I was too thin and weak.

My BMR can't be 600 calories but if I eat anything at all there's more weight. I feel like my body is just shutting down.

What are my options? Has anyone tried any of the online HRT? I feel like that's going to be my best bet if at all. I need to try something. I feel like I'm literally dying.