AAAHHHHHH

background context: im a freshman in high school, my boyfriend is a junior (he skipped a grade), and my LO is either a junior or a senior i literally dont know lmao. never spoken to this man in my life, just saw him interacting with my boyfriend a few days ago (they are literally like non blood related brothers) and for some reason it set something off in my brain. got it? yes? ok.

yesterday i tried to explain the concept of love vs limerence to a friend so she doesnt just think im wanting to cheat on my boyfriend but i realized its kind of impossible to get that point across to someone who hasnt been through this without sounding crazy?

i tried to explain it as, the way i feel for my boyfriend is like hehe yay :) love my wife :) and the way i feel for my LO is more like goddamn i should kill myself. that did not work for some reason

her response is also probably partially because shes friends with my LO's girlfriend. but. i dont want to be a homewrecker in the first place!! ive stalked her insta their relationship is beautiful even though it kind of makes me want to rip my veins out of my body You Know What I Mean?

anyway basically the fog is coming i think um i kind of feel like a horrible person for thinking of my boyfriends friend in this way like it Disgusts me 🫩 we spent some time together yesterday for valentines day and the whole time i was thinking about my LO and its just like whattt is wrong with me man!!!!!!!