Performative love?

I'm typing this because I want to know if this is something others experience in lesbian dating and to get advice on how to avoid situations like these.

I've been dating this woman for 3 months now. She's from Moldova and I'm dutch, we both live in The Netherlands (I'm mentioning this because I think cultural differences might play a part). She's closeted at home ( family stays back in moldova), but out to her friends.

From the start she's been more reserved and showed she has a hard time discussing feelings or intimacy. Something I've been patient with, eventhough those conversations are a real need of mine. I'm blunt and like to talk about everything, I'm out at home and very confident in my sexuality. I've been the one to approach her and done most of the initiating. She does make time for me twice a week, but I do most of the planning of dates. I initiate a lot of physical contact, but she never rejects it and does also initiate (even in public). But most of her affection seemed to be shown through acts of service and gifts.

I've been feeling like we were getting quite serious, seeing eachother twice a week and having met multiple of her friends. But this week doubts have started to surface. The thing that gave me pause was her late responding times when texting (if you're in love, are you not wanting to be in contact 24/7?) and then I started reflection on the other things.

This let to me braving another conversation about feelings. I told her that I really like her and that I'm getting mixed signals from her and that I would like to know where her head is at. Her answer was that She likes me, but isn't sure if we are compatibel. She also hinted at other things, that she said she didn't want to talk about because she is a "people pleaser".

Now do I feel very confused and this is the second time I fall into this trap of investing for months to find out my love interest was never that into me. The weird thing is they do invest (acts of services, dates and gifts). I wonder if its just a going along and a performative love. So my question is is this common? And how do I avoid misreading these things as a real connection?