Panic attacky agaib

Panic panic panic. That's the only thing I am good at. The warmth is sucked out of my body. Why why why. Just stop iekanna mfushwna. I suck so much. I don't deserve anyone. I didn't even choose to exist but it's my biggest regret. Everything is torture. I can't be happy. If I see hope, it gets pulled the very next moment. Why do I even try to find hope at this point. TAKE THE HINT. I can't deal with this void growing anymore.