I feel like the worst meditator in the world. Any advice?

I’ve tried off and on for years now to meditate, and I don’t think I’ve ever been even moderately successful in reaching a real meditative state. I don’t even feel relaxed afterwards. My brain just never shuts up. And I know this is a common concern, and you’re supposed to watch the thoughts pass like clouds, return your focus, and carry on. But even when I return my focus, there’s that incessant internal voice narrating “ok. Focus. In breath. Out breath. Focus. Watch the clouds. Out breath. Go above the mind. In breath.” And on and on and on…

I recently discovered the gateway tapes and thought maybe the hemisync waves and guided nature of it would finally be the key. But nope. Nothin. I’ve been at it for a couple of weeks now and it’s the same deal. And this time around, because you have to put your body to sleep to enter focus 10, I find myself obsessing over things like what to do with my tongue to fully relax it and whether I’ve actually made it to focus 10 or not.

Has anyone else experienced something similar or have any advice?