21M – I don’t deserve my parents, but I want to make them proud one day

Hey everyone,

I’m 21M, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents.

My father is the only person I fully trust in this world. No matter what bad decisions I’ve made, he has always been there for me. I went through a big failure in life and ended up wasting a major part of his lifetime savings because of my choices. He had warned me before, but I didn’t listen.

I promised him I would succeed. Instead, I failed.

I was scared to even face him. I thought he would be angry or disappointed. But he wasn’t. He supported me. He told me, “Time is still there. Don’t waste your life regretting money. Money comes and goes.”

I don’t know how he can be that calm and strong. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve him.

My mom is the same. When I was younger, I used to misunderstand her and even hate when she corrected me. Now I realize she was right about so many things. She genuinely cares about me more than anyone else.

I don’t want to hurt them again. I don’t want them to worry because of me.

One day, I want to become successful — not for ego, not for money — but to treat them well and give them the life they deserve.

If anyone else feels guilty about disappointing their parents but also deeply grateful for them, how do you turn that guilt into motivation instead of self-hate?