How to Know What to Do

Hello, this is my first Reddit post but I’ve been lurking in this sub for days and hoping to find some guidance.

Nearly a week out from DDay and I’m completely lost. At first we were both confident about wanting R but now trying to take some space and make a less emotional decision. I have nowhere to go to be truly alone but I don’t think I can stay at our house where he still is.

Overall I feel like I want to try and move forward. I feel like we won’t really know what the right decision is unless we try. And I’m terrified we won’t get that chance; WP doesn’t know if he can still see me as a romantic partner (intimacy issues were a big issue since I have vaginismus and am deeply insecure; he had been having a physical and emotional affair with a classmate for a week before he came clean). I know where my faults lie in this and I have been open and honest about my regret in not being more communicative and confident with him. I took his patience for granted and have promised to learn from this if we move forward. I still love him and I know he still loves me (maybe more platonically at the moment but the love is there).

I guess I just want advice on how other people have come to a decision. Was it a gut feeling or did you need some counseling first? We aren’t married and don’t have children (aside from 2 dogs we love more than anything) so it’s not like that is a factor. I’m completely lost and scared and need some guidance. Thank you.