What secrets did you find out about your family later in life?

Besides the labels, diagnoses, and sick dynamics we were all stuck in.

I didn't learn until later in life that my dad didn't have a "crazy ex wife". She was a battered woman, who finally wrestled the baseball bat away from him and beat him out of the house with it.

I didn't put it together until later in life that our animals weren't being "given away". To whom? My dad was killing them.

I didn't know that my older brothers were being sexually assaulted. And our father saw the signs, but chose to shame and humiliate my big brothers, instead of ever defending and protecting them.

And when my Pop Pop died, nmom and Gram found his collection of books about how to kill a man, and how to hide a body. Even though he violently abused Gram and his son for years,.they chose to burn the books to "protect him" rather than ever tell anyone else.

What secrets have you uncovered about your family?