crying

So I asked my crush out on a date three weeks ago, and she said "okay but after winter brake". I've been obsessed about that for the last three weeks. There hasn't been one day I didn't think about her and this date. I tried texting her because if we're dating that would be cool to talk for this three weeks when we don't see each other, and I always felt annoying and guilty for texting her when she replied after few hours. Yesterday, I asked her if she's gonna be my valentine and she didn't replied for 12 hours, so I decided to talk with her if she still wants to date. AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT She told me that she hadn't known it was a date and she was confused when I'd been behaving like we were dating. I literally asked her on a date and she didn't get that I was serious. She told me that she's not interested and she's sorry that she hadn't understood that. I was obsessed with her for the last three weeks and she didn't understand??? I feel so fucking devasted rn because I started hrt at the beginning of January and I'm extremely emotional about everything. My biggest fear is what if she rejected me because I'm trans and I will never find anyone like her again. Is it normal that I randomly cry? Is it going to stop at some point?