M(30) got cheated on by wife (27F) in early stage of marriage.

M(30) got cheated on by wife (27F) in early stage of marriage.

Hi i just wanted ask about the situation that i am in.

I recently got married and with in 6 months of marriage i got know that my wife was cheating on me for 2months (that is what she says) with her office colleague.

It was a AM setup we had a courtship period of about 7 months before marriage, We got to know each other life struggles,passion and future plan and it was so good to know each other so deep.

later we got married and were getting settled in new life and environment, We were living separtely from our parents and slowly started to know each other both emotionally and sexually.

We started having sex daily and mind you i was a virgin before this so no sexual experience as such, So when we started it with all the foreplay and actual PIV sex (4-5mins) i used to climax after that i used help her climax through clit stimulation and we enjoyed like that.

but after some time she told me that she wants to experience orgasm through PIV and i was understanding and i was working on it through building my stamina and other things, and slowly we were getting there, But she was impatient and started to being mean and started to question me on my manhood.

It was depressing situation for me.

we had fights on this and i said she was taking things to larger extent which can be resolved with patience, But she was adament on this and was stating if things go like this our marriage will not hold for long, It devasted me.

later after some days and some arguments we decided that we will work on this together and come back strong.

one day after our morning walk and breakfast , she went to bathroom and i was on bed with my mobile when she received the notification i just glanced it and msg on whatsapp saying "I will be there in 30mins baby". it triggered me and i went through her phone ( mind you she was always secretive of her phone and it didn't bother me because i trusted her).

i read all the text and i almost fainted there, my heart got heavy and my hands were shaking while rrading all the msgs.

She was going to some office party (she had mentioned me about this.) with him and they were planning to spend time together. In fact she used to go to his house after office and do the deed and he used to drop her to my house and i used to wait for her with dinner and sometimes flowers for her.

Once i confronted her she started crying and was telling that things were not good between us and it just happen in spur of a moment( and i say bulshit to that) as much as i know women tend to emotionally connect first and later get physical .

She told me that if you would have satisfied me the way i wanted i wouldn't have gone to him( sort of gaslighting) .

I asked her that we have been married for like 6 months and i that you have cheated for 2months, All the time that we spent before marriage and the dreams that we had together were fake then.

I told her that i want divorce and she agreed to it just that she was gaslighting me very hard.

She replied saying she didnt want to do it it just happen with all the chaos between us and you will understand after sometimes and you will never get a wife like me.

It broke me to pieces and i was numb to core for some days.

now i am waiting for 1 year to complete to file a divorce(it is mutual divorce).

Now sometimes i feel that whether i did something wrong and i question my selfworth, It has been a dreadfull year for me and now i am living alone in city feeling depressed, Taking therapy and trying fight this feeling of love i had for her and its stings everytime and i am unable to sleep but slowly i am recovering.

Now please tell me what was i doing wrong here,It is just confusing and i am getting self doubt here.